I would like to tell you about my name, this combination of syllables that are mine alone and make me who I am. I think that like most people, it has taken me some time to grow into my name, to wrap my head around it a little and see it as my own. Very few of us actually choose our names, the way in which everyone will speak about us for the rest of our lives, and I have certainly contemplated changing mine. But when I think about everything my name represents, I wouldn’t change it and I embrace it.
Hannah is my first name. It is the English form of the Hebrew name Channa - meaning grace of God - and celebrates the life of a woman whose one strongest desire was heard by the infinite and how the fulfillment of her desire changed the trajectory of her people forever. My mother chose this name because of her great faith in God, and my father had prayed very earnestly for me to be a girl. When I was a baby, there was a woman of Cuban descent who attended church with my parents and she liked to take me in her arms and sing that I was her “sweet poquita Hannita.” When I learnt to write, my first name was of course very easy to spell, though I remember the double N’s gave me trouble when I was learning cursive writing. In social situations with others my age, it was sometimes confusing whether or not I was being referred to because there were always at least two other Hannah’s besides myself. There were ubiquitous nicknames like Hannah Banana and Hannah Montana. Folks always mishear my name over the phone and in loud rooms. I end up being Anna, Shannon, and Heather quite often, as well as a variety of others. When I entered my twenties and my faith began to shift, I did not know what to do with Hannah. For a while, it did not seem to reflect the person I had become. Yet, when I look back on my life, I can see so many times where grace has been offered to me over and over, where I have evaded dangers and pitfalls, where loved ones have forgiven me and supported me. And so, Hannah seems like the right fit for me. Lucille is my second name. It is the English form of the Latin masculine name Lucius and means light. There are so many literary, cultural, and pop culture figures that can be associated with this one: Lucifer, the angel who fell from Heaven and is called the Prince of Darkness. Lucis Malfoy from the Harry Potter series. My personal favorite, Lucy from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. It is my paternal grandmother’s middle name. My mom put it with Hannah because it honestly has a nice ring to it and because my grandmother is an incredibly smart and selfless woman who all in my family want to grow up to be like. She is the matriarch of our clan, no doubt. I always appreciated being her namesake. When I first experienced The Chronicles of Narnia, I started making the connection between this part of my name and Lucy Pevensie, the young destined-queen whose joy in Aslan is constant and whose faith and strength are breathtaking. I have always wanted to meet Aslan amongst the dancing trees like she did. I once had a stranger say this name sounds like that of a god - I’ll take it! I’ve never had a quarrel with my middle name and I use it whenever I can. A light in the darkness. My last name, Emory, is an English form of a Germanic surname which means, “home strength.” My family are Irish-, Scots-, Viking-, and Germanic-descendant. We come from and are to this day fire-filled, independent, strong-willed warriors and always will be. It is not a common name and everyone misspells and mispronounces it. Yet, I find comfort in having a unique surname and one that is rich with personal meaning. This name will always live in my mind as a representation of the sacrifices my family members have given for the freedom of their people. I do not know very much about my family history past my grandmother’s lifetime and some genealogical information, but I have always had great pride in the military and law enforcement roles my family have played. My father and my oldest brother have been especially influential in my life in this regard, teaching me to live with honor, act with integrity, and protect the innocent, all values that they embodied throughout their careers. I am Hannah Lucille Emory. Thankful for this name and thankful for all those it represents. I hope I wear the name well. Thank you for reading.
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